X: Christian integrity/Kristen integritet

The nearest past has not been bubbling of enthusiasm regarding being on fire for Christ. I feel that the glow of my fundament of life has been running low. My faith is steady as a rock, but that doesn’t mean I am always “high” on the Gospel – which is something I would like to be due to the implications of the message. Throughout this time, I have witnessed to people & spoken to God, but more out of convenience since it’s a part of me, not so much out of excitement.

The recent couple of days with brain activity have let me realize that I have a solid, Christian character though. People from all the various social settings in which I appear. Lastly on Friday at a pub after practice with players from the volleyball club, it was described as “obvious” that I answered “God” as the most important part of my life. This from people I don’t know all that well, and haven’t spoken to the last year (because of my stay Down Under).

Before I left Australia I had this farewell party with friends from Chisholm College where I lived, the soccer team, volleyball team, uni and various Christian settings. During the festivity speech where held, we danced and goofed around, someone prayed for me and I spoke a bit about my faith. In the aftermath I asked a few guys with whom I haven’t been all that much, nor in typical Christian settings, if they were surprised about or altered their impression on me. They said no – these things they knew.

Generally I consider it a good sign to be myself in all situations. It generates integrity and is something I feel strengthen my self image as someone confident.

All I do know is hoping that God can use an outgoing, strong Christian, who doesn’t floor it inside these days. I think He does. I know He does. And I know I’ll swing back up there.

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Nærmeste fortid har ikke lyst av entusiasme hva kristen bunntenning angår. Jeg føler at jeg har manglet litt gløden i livsfundamentet. Min tro står støtt som bare det, men det betyr ikke at jeg ha brent for evangeliet – noe jeg anser burde være naturlig om det jeg tror er virkelig. Jeg har snakket om Gud, bedt og tenkt, men mer når det passet seg. Men de siste dagers tankevirksomhet har latt meg innse at jeg har en solid, kristen karakter. Folk i alle de sosiale lagene jeg befinner meg i, vet at jeg er kristen. Senest fredag på puben etter trening, var det ”opplagt” at jeg svarte at det viktigste i livet mitt var Gud.

Før jeg forlot Australia hadde jeg en avskjedsfest med venner fra Chisholm College der jeg bodde, fotballaget, volleyballaget, skolen og diverse kristne sammenhenger. Underveis ble det holdt taler, det ble danset og tullet, og det ble bedt og snakket litt om min tro. I etterkant spurte jeg noen av de jeg ikke har vært så mye med, og heller ikke i kristne settinger med om de ble overrasket over hvordan jeg var. Alle svarte nei; de kjente meg fra før.

Generelt anser jeg det som et godt tegn å være meg selv i alle situasjoner. Det skaper integritet og er noe jeg føler styrker selvbildet som trygg på meg selv.

Så er det bare å håpe om at Gud kan bruke en utadvent, sterk kristen, som på innsiden ikke kjører i øverste gir. Jeg tror det. Jeg vet det. Og bedre skal det bli.