E: Impression first

One thing is who I am. Another is who I think I am. A third is what others perceive me to be. For some time I have given the first impression a fair bit of thought. What am I like for people I have not met before? What vibes do I send? One should not base a person characteristic on the immediate, but I often meet people I have not met before, which may be the only meet I get with someone. In the aftermath this is really material for insight and reflection.

Many a time I consider asking someone to evaluate me based on my appearance – as the very first thing I say. Or have someone else ask to do so. Because as soon as one starts talking and sharing, the impressions is shaped by the information you provide. So the less data, the better – at least if the impression is to be based on appearance. What type of person do I appear to be for those who do not know? Where do I look as if I am from? What character, job, interest, relational status, faith do I appear to possess? Such questions I find most fascinating for which to retrieve answers.

During an open house type of party Saturday, a volleyball friend I have known since I came to Oslo shared his recollection of his first impression of me. He remembered it distinctly, particularly because it was completely wrong. With my serious anatomy, short hair, concentrated mood (we met at volleyball practice where I needed to establish my skill level), and telling him I did martial art (I did tae kwon do for that year only) – he thought of me as a cocky, semi-violent, arrogant guy. Another friend, who joined the discussion, thought of me as a very bright young fellow using all these hard words. This was hilarious to be told now, but at the same time a reminder of the need be aware of what we say and do – especially when you meet someone for the first time.

On the flipside, time and numerous meetings are not required to get an understanding and idea about who someone is. I believe one can get the gist of person within few minutes of chatting. We are all tuned into a certain type of frequency, which I believe will match the person you meet in a certain way – from day one. One can strengthen that bound, but I believe it wont change much. See a related entry on friendship connections.

In general however, I believe in being oneself – any time, anywhere. That is what we do best and the only way things can work in the long run.

Feel free to share your first impression of me :)