E: Gender segregation shock

I expected some kind of culture shock when coming to Australia. But I didn’t think the first genuine one to come after eleven months in the country.

Most Christian Australians do not make close friends to the opposite gender, except for the (potential future) girl-/boyfriend. In specifics this means for a boy not hanging out with a girl by herself, going to a café for instance, and particularly not visiting, be in a closed room or going to the movies – if there are no one else (familiar) there. The motivation is not to create any awkward, wrong ideas, moments, impressions, cravings etc. It is ok to associate with the other gender in group settings (more than just the two), among friends, out, in sports, church and so on. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, and it is not a rule to all, but at least a dominating guideline.

This I know this is how it works in less liberal nations and cultures, but I did not see it coming in Australia. To what extent this applies to other Aussies I do not know, but not a lot by the looks of it. You may be aware of this, and rather ask how I couldn’t properly notice after all this time. I asked myself that question too after having revealed this way of relational conduct in recent conversations. I concluded with a few theories. Firstly, I made many female friends last time in Australia, a couple also Christian Australians. Secondly, things seemed similar to those of Europe, and I assumed the conditions would resemble Norway, or at least the UK.

In Norway none of the no-go examples above would be an eyebrow-lifter. Maybe someone would ask if I was to go to the movies with a girl, but if I said it was nothing there, I would be believed.

Albeit I understand the reasoning behind the gender segregation practice, and I am not saying it is wrong, the idea is still a bit surprising to me for several reasons: a) this is a very different reality from with what I grew up. b) Unless being highly incautious or very ongoing, I think chances are good for not inflicting any undesired intimacy. The purpose of the relation (friendship) is quickly becoming clear (at least from my European experience). In fact, sometimes you are tempted more by what you don’t/can’t have than with what you do/can. c) Girls and boys are different, and a few discussion topics work best among your own gender. But I think you are missing out if you only (closely) associate with your own gender. There are many things and impulses to receive from girls and visa versa.

From a guy with ONE girlfriend and MANY female friends.