My last academic assessment was confidently slid into the essay box around 1 pm yesterday; 5400 words over 25 pages on how media addresses injustice and contributes to alleviate suffering. My semester has caused a fair bit of mental distress. This is the first semester in my life I did not enjoy studying. My social life has been very limited and the workload unreal. But in retrospect most things seems worthwhile. Although my subjects required a threshold of academic competence slightly unhealthy than my starting point, and that I wouldn’t have done this if I knew in advance how it would turn out, I have gained a great amount of knowledge. Furthermore, I have formed an ability for studying continuously for weeks at the time.
I have friends of major capacity in life who have temporarily broken down due to work and stress overload. This hasn’t happened to me yet, but when visiting my girlfriend later in the afternoon, on my way to practice, I was suddenly struck by this exhaustion I would label study fatigue. It has been in my system for quite some time, but was no longer able to be kept in check. I felt tired and blank within for a bit and ended up not going to practice. Instead I was given dinner, a hot bath was prepared and a lot of comforting support and words from Darshini and the “host family” she stays with – the Milesis. This became a reminder of how I am human and cannot always be a 100% ready to go and that there are more limitations than time. I needed this night off to chill, recharge and be properly restored. Darsh and I also had some very good conversations.
Overall, the tougher something is, the better the sensation of completing something. There are many things left to do before I leave Melbourne on the 21st; lots of social events (dinners, trips, birthdays and farewells), packing, prepearing for Perth and Hong Kong, selling my bike etc. But these things will pass the burden of study pressure.
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